Things I’ve Learned from Hosting Thanksgiving Dinner
By
Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday after Halloween and New Year’s Eve because the entire reason for this day is the feast. Being with family is wonderful, the absence of the frantic need to shop for gifts is even better, and of course we’re all told that the point of the day is the giving of thanks for our blessings, hence the name. But let’s be honest: the thing we’re most thankful for is that after hours of waiting, that blasted turkey is finally done and we can stop having Cheese-Its for lunch.
This was my third or fourth time making dinner for my roommate and parents. Since Christmas is zooming up sooner than we’d like, I thought I’d list some of the things I’ve learned to assist those trying to host their own holiday feast.
1. Appetizers, Pfft!
Appetizers need not be fancy. Put out some nice bowls of chips, a few dips or salsas, and you’re set. If you put things in nice bowls people will overlook the fact that the dip is still in the same shape as the plastic tub it came in. For something a little more exciting, I recommend ordering bacon jam from Skillet Street Food, a mobile restaurant based in Seattle. This delightful concoction (high on Santa’s naughty list) is meaty, sweet, and pretty addictive. Smear it on wheat crackers if you’re watching your weight.
2. Cooking the Turkey.
· Always defrost the bird way ahead of time. You may think that turkeys stored in the fridge for five days will spoil, but you’ll likely be brushing ice chips from it, even after all that time.
· Always remove the bag of guts. Really, it’s in there – check the other end.
· Pop-up timers are a gag gift from the meat industry and are akin to hood ornaments – pointless excuses to raise prices. (The holidays haven’t made me bitter!) Whole turkeys come with their own, nature-made timers: when the bones of the legs start to protrude, dinner’s ready. You can use a meat thermometer to check – when the stem is inserted into the thigh, it should read about 175 degrees.
· Don’t bother using a roasting rack – noshing on the bits of meat that sat for hours in their own juices is one of life’s greatest pleasures.
· Metal roasting pans can be a godsend. Just set it inside a rimmed baking sheet to make lifting easier and carving less messy. Invert a second pan over it to keep leftovers warm. Which brings us to the next tip…
3. Covering the Cooked Turkey Does Nothing to Deter the Cat.
A kitty that once seemed terrified of aluminum foil thinks nothing of pushing a foil pan away from a freshly roasted turkey. Some people think cats are dumb. I disagree.
4. The Absence of Pumpkin Pie Makes People Cranky.
5. Starve Your Guests.
If you burned the meat, your gravy ended up with more lumps than the taters, the pie overflowed and you somehow made a complete failure of canned cranberries and boxed stuffing, have no fear. Sit back with a glass of Scotch and wait. Eventually your guests will be so hungry, they’ll be grateful to be served anything that resembles food.
